One thing.

So it's definitely been awhile...but a lot has happened since last time. The end of the semester was crazy busy and a bit stressful. School was very demanding this semester and it was a challenge learning how to balance it with everything else-ministry, my own walk, friendships, and other priorities. It was so humbling to see that I needed to rely on God for the strength and energy to make it through this year. But in the end things did turn out well. All the hours of studying, reading, and writing paid off - I got all A's in my classes and for the first time a 4.0 GPA! I was shocked, and didn't expect that at all - but I know that in itself was a work of God because I had to trust Him so much in school. Made me so thankful for the gifts He's given me and the ability to do well in school.

Ministry was such a challenge! Things of course never went as I planned and God continued to give me opportunities to trust Him. I had the privilege to invest in a couple freshman girls, Jenna and Michele, and do a Bible study with them. Slowly but surely God was laying down foundational truths into their lives as we went through the Building Blocks bible study. Both of them have a similar history to me - grew up in church, good kids in school, etc. One was already a believer when she came to school and the other actually came to Christ fall semester. They both decided not to attend OP. I struggled with this a lot at first because I prayed so much that they would both give up their summer to go to OP. But the Lord said no, and He is still good. The girls both have a good home church, and what sounds like solid believers for parents too. They're gonna go through the OP book too, and may even come visit during parents' weekend! I miss them already and can't wait to live with them next year.

Speaking of next year (this coming fall semester), I will be an RA at USI in the apartments. I applied to be an RA for many reasons but primarily for ministry opportunity-being able to live with other students. My apartment building, Durbin, is an all-freshman building, which is a huge answered prayer! I wanted badly to be in the freshman dorms, but instead God put me in the apartments and gave me freshmen anyway! Jenna and Michele are my room mates, and I can't wait to live with them. My hope and prayer is that God would use me in their lives, and in the lives of my residents to be a light for Him. I hope that Jenna and Michele will grow a passion for the gospel and compassion for the lost, and that we can labor together this year in Durbin. Also, the rumor is that Durbin is usually the crazy, party building in the apartments. Talk about out of my comfort zone. I wonder what God will teach me this coming year.

This summer:

My sister is in South Africa now, she's been there for about 10 days now. It's bittersweet - I am ecstatic that she's there, but I miss her a lot too. But I know God is using her and teaching her so much over there. As for me, I leave for OP in 6 days! I've been raising support since I've been home, and it's been very humbling. It was a challenge to tackle support this time because most people I would approach had already given to Kayla's trip. But God is faithful, and I already have more than enough for the cost of $1,410! In this I've seen so much of God's goodness, and so much of my sin. I really had such a deserving mentality and pride about support raising - believing the lie that I deserve it, and that when it did come in I was not near as thankful as I should be. But God is so gracious and quick to forgive me for my arrogance. Phil. 4:19 and Rom. 8:32 are two sweet promises that I saw played out.

This summer at OP I have the privilege to be a servant leader, to disciple other young women, most will be attending OP for the first time. This has launched a rollercoaster of emotions - excitement, anxiety, joy, pride, comparison, fear, and weakness. I do feel so inadequate for this role and sometimes doubt if I'm ready or able to do this. I still see so much sin and inconsistency in my own life, and sometimes question whether I've grown or even been changed at all. But God's been teaching me daily that that's exactly the point. I am inadequate, I am weak, and I'm not ready. But the best news in the world is that Christ is adequate, Christ is strong, and Christ is ready to move in and through me this summer! I keep coming back to this verse in 2 Cor. 12:9-10

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I don't have to wish away my weaknesses and failures. I can embrace them, and when I do, God can work through me and strengthen me. God can't use a self-sufficient person - He uses weak people! Another verse that I pray drives me this summer is also in 2 Cor. 12, verse 15: "I will gladly spend and be spent for you souls." I pray that I will pour out my life this summer, to my disciples, to everyone. And not just this summer but for the rest of my life. And, that it would be my joy and privilege too!

I'll close with this verse that is becoming the theme of my walk - I want to forever be chasing after this one thing:

One thing have I asked of the Lord,
 that will I seek after: 
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
 all the days of my life,
 to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord 
and to inquire in his temple. - Psalm 27:4

Explanation

Well, you may be wondering what the purpose of this blog is...but I honestly couldn't tell you. Because there really isn't a specific reason for this blog. It will serve as an outlet for my thoughts, hopefully an encouragement to anyone that may decide to read it, and to update people not only on my life and what's goin on here at USI, but what the Lord is doing here on campus and in my own heart as well. Plus, since I am an English major/philosophy minor, I do rather feel the need to express what I'm learning as well as my opinions, and questions that seem to come up a lot in my field of study that oddly relate quite a bit to spiritual concepts and even Christianity. If anything, I hope this blog above all else spurs you on to simply think.

For now the title will be our theme for this year: So others may live. If you've seen the movie The Guardian, you'll catch on to the meaning - but our emphasis is not so much a concern to physically saving people as the coast guard does, but in pursuit of an even more important salvation - eternal salvation that comes only through Jesus Christ. This is our theme because it literally translates into every aspects of our lives. If Jesus commands us to preach the gospel to everyone, [to the ends of the earth, in fact] then that changes everything about how we live our lives, in order that others may live - to have life only found in Christ. How do I live my life so others may live? How will I spend my time, my money, my energy, my summer, my breaks - so others may live? How do I speak to people, treat people, so others may live? I could go on and on, but I think you get the idea.

I use our theme as the title because I hope to live in light of that everyday, even while I'm here in college. Christ is my foundation, and although there is a ton going on here at USI, and a lot in my own life, I know that Christ is the center, the gospel is of first importance, and that is why I'm here - to live my life daily in such a way so others may live.